Devastated...

I felt devastated,

Today is my 10 day post IUI..and I felt nothing!.. No symptoms.. Nada... Arghh

All I noticed was twinges here and and there, cramps here and there..felt like AF was about to show her ugly face..i hate aunt flow so bad now...

I bought 20 sticks of pregnancy test..yes 20! Mama Nad trying to post it tomorrow..While waiting the postage to arrive in front of my front sdoor, I bought 2 test @ Watson..just to ease my mind..

I bought "Dip  n Tell" ..

10 dpiui...the result is BIG FAT NEGATIVE!

I don't feel any sore boobs.. any creamy white lotiony mucus...nothing ..! My face not even break out..I'm so devastated..

Yesterday I asked Mr. Harvey..."Let's play a game..let's pick up baby's name?"

He just glanced me and said "what for? we don't even have any kid..why should we"

He even said  "Dah try usaha macam macam..tak mengandung ngandung pun..." (Put too much effort but you don't even get pregnant ever since)

How could he...How could he said that..I felt my heart shattered..

I felt so sad with his harsh word.. Shouldn't I be?

I cried silently.....

Went to bed and cried silently..

Too afraid to show to him that I hated him when he said that..


I hate this feeling..somehow I just want to give up and spend all my money buying designer's handbag and branded shoes..

There's no use of me being the only one who go up and down, searching remedy if I don't get moral support from my loved ones..


Brenda.. am I useless..?