#1 IUI: Bad news and gaining weight!!

The result.....

:(

I stopped taking my progesterone (Duphaston) pills 2 days ago..

Aunt Flow does not show her face yet.. but I know she will come.. How do I know?

Cause I've noticed brownish mucus just now..

She's definitely coming..

What makes me sad the most?

1. My 1st IUI attempt failed..of course ..that's obvious..

but the thing that makes me sad most is.. I've tortured my body too much..

I gained 3kg within 2-3 weeks...thanks to both of you  Clomid and Duphaston..

Being in late 20's.. (I'm 28), it is really hard to reduce weight..!! Arghh!!

All this yoyo mission led to my inconsistent body mass..

I've gained 12 kg so far within 2 years..I'm so bumped!!

So hard to compromise between my diet and my craving for foods...

Determination is the key point..I know..its not that easy..

Should I go see my doctor and express this concern..Should I take a break from TTC for a while and focus on my weight?

I need to sit down and pause and take my own time to think this deeply..


I gained NOTHING!! but ADDING NUMBERS TO MY WEIGHT SCALE!!..


Dear... Let me bring you my nostalgic memories and I'd love to share with you guys the 2 years of my  milestone ..."Journey of my weight"

 :(   :(   :( 

Right before I met my Mr. Harvey..late 2009

Early 2010..My happiness.. when I met Mr. Harvey ..
He looked skinny back then..he just met her soulmate..wait till after 2 years.. :P

June 2010 and  6 months in a relationship..before get married
in Feb 2011

Nov 2011..Nine months married ..

Feb 2012. This day is the day I conceived with unborn baby..
Miscarried in April 2012

Happily married  &
 maintaining my ideal weight

June 2012..Two months after miscarriage. This is where my weight started
to go upside down like crazy yoyo!!

Sept 2012. Muka and body becoming chubbier..!!

Same Occasion..Thank god Mr. Harvey also gaining weight..
He gained 12kgs since he met me.. kesian...

Oct 2012..4 days before my laparoscopy..gosh my face..let alone my body!

Nov 2012.. One month after my laparoscopy!!! I'm huge!!

Early December 2012..Before my IUI

December  2012.. After my  IUI...
taking my Duphaston around this time

Today's photo..while waiting for my AF..
my face becoming chubbier and chubbier...and it took only 2 weeks!!!

I need to do something..ah...

dpiui 8 : What happened to my OPK?

Should I freaking out? Should I get and buy home pregnancy test now?? Argh...I just couldn't believe my eyes...

So here goes,

I did post up the latest symptom of 8 days after iui...the latest update .. I had nausea and forced myself throwing up just to make myself better..I worked for 10 seconds.!..and the nausea started to attack me on and on...

I just played dumb and ignoring it while watching WipeOut show @ AXN Channel. But it's getting weird and weirder..It won't go away .. I burped few times and suddenly I felt my burp tried to push  out all the foods I've eaten ..*but I swallowed it back..I know..gross..it happened spontaneously!

So I tested my urine with remaining OPK... please take a look the last two of my OPK (bottom two)..

I collected about 8 OPKs.. (banyak dah buang..) The top OPK is the 1st test I've taken (4dpiui), meanwhile the bottom is my latest OPK (8dpiui)..

As you can see the last 3 OPK (from the bottom) shows that my HCG Trigger Shot already gone..meaning out from the system...as you can see..the test line getting lighter and lighter until its totally gone and I was convinced that no more HCG from the trigger shot in my body..

But today, it seems that the OPK caught new surge of LH or HCG (they both are look a like).

*Please click  to get better understanding correlation between HCH and LH hormones..

My my, suddenly she reappeared @ 8dpiui/ 8dpo and I am so damn confused..I know I should get HPT to confirm it..but its tooo early for HPT to detect..*baru 8 hari...cepat sangat tak nak check...??


I don't want to get my hope so high..I know I shouldn't ...

OPK could really detect early pregnancy? I definitely gonna google it..!!


Peace y'all!!

xoxo

IUI Cycle 1: Symptoms from 1dpiui - 7dpiui

Hola Soulsista!

As promised, I will update all my symptoms from 1 day post IUI (dpiui1 ) until 7dpiui.. (considered as my half cycle of 2weekwait)...


IUI day..
My day 1 I felt cramping mostly at my left ovary..It was like something was pinching and stabbing inside my pelvic.. Doc said it was normal for me to have this cramp and bloating .. or perhaps due to 232 million of spermies tried to race to my Ms. Ovie..Hehe..

The very same day..Mr. Harvey and I went to see movie marathon and of " Rise of the Guardian " and "Twilight:Breaking Part2?" *I was not into those two movies..Mr Harvey yang semangat..so layan je ler.. 

I walked super slow cause I still got the shooting pain..We managed to have some fun .. went out together, eat  load of seafood... But I couldn't eat that much..felt bloated.

We went back home  around 12:00 am..geez...we were so tired..both of us just went to bad without even changed our clothes off and I didn't  even bother to take my bath and my makeup off! *Musnah plan nak ehem ehem with Mr. Harvey


dpiui1...
I woke up at 8:40 am, went to bathroom to pee and got back to sleep. I peed 2-3 times within 5 hours which is not normal for me..But I don't think that was one of the symptoms.

We both woke up at 1.30 pm!..We've slept almost 13 hours!! *But still I'm sleepy headed type. maybe its nothing ...

I also  felt bloated and cramped both side, more on my lefty. My back hurts. Perhaps, maybe Duphaston pill plays its trick? Doc asked me to take it from dpiui1 for 2 weeks and stopped once my menstrual arrived *Hope not!! . Duphaston mimicking Progesterone hormone and it also could give false pregnancy symptoms like nausea, sore boobs, hot flush... At least, I know that I don't need to put my hope high for this cycle..just take it easy...

dpiui2..
Still sore at my left ovary , pain at my hips and left leg, my boob sore (probably due to Duphaston). I got sore throat a bit ..

Slept at 2.00 am, but Mr. Harvey woke me up at 5.00 am and seduced me..I was reluctant  at first cause I'm worried about implantation and my condition.. But I just went for it hehe... cause he knows how to  seduce me and make me turned on..grrrr~~~~


dpiui3...
Cramps still but no much compared to the other day. Last 3 days I need to re-position myself to avoid pressure at my low abdomen.. But I could feel both side swelling *Macam denyut denyut manja gitu..
I'm taking leave for 1 week ..*gedik tak..padahal ada conference dekat Melaka..but I don't dare to travel lah...
************************************

New update, I just took a nap about one hour and so. When I woke up my head spinning *Maybe Maghrib time kot.. And when I lied down and pushing my boobs on top of my pillow.. my boobs started to feel tender.. I felt a bit pain inside..not much but noticeable. I also had this leg pain , and my palm also felt cramp *ala ala kebas.. The sensational is still there..I can feel that my right finger is cramping while typing this update..

Oh yea I', also got back pain..and ate gazillion a lot!! Lunch, I've eaten Maggi , for hi-tea I've taken Nasi Goreng USA..at night makan Big Apple's Doughnut and ate nasi goreng at 1.00 am ..shaiiitttt..I really don't like Duphaston doing this to me..Duphaston really increase my appetite..arghhhh!!


dpiui4..
It's 1.40am now, still blogging and spending my quality time with Mr. Harvey..*Teman dia tengok Maharajalawak Mega...He's addicted to this reality show..When I'm writing this I felt sore throat and stuffy nose..my body a bit warm maybe nak demam..my temperature is now 36.70 deg Celsius.
***********************************
I slept at 2.15 am, can't wait much longer. Woke up at 9.00am cause got call from my boss - work related... After that, went to bath room to pee and at the same time temping my body..it 36.66 deg Celsius..and noticed my gum slightly swollen..



dpiui5...
My fever getting better..but my temperature now is consistently at 37.00 - 37.2ihs deg Celsius..I keep on temping my body every 30 minutes..LOL...Mr Harvey did tell his mother about me being so obsessive with my thermometer. He felt like wanted to break the thermometer into two pieces..*psycho..uwekk..!


Last temp before went to bed was 37.13 deg Celsius.
I have one time creamy white mucus very lotiony..but that was it. Once off when I wiped my Ms V.



dpiui6....
Went to work at site with my subordinate. She drove my car since I'm not that confidence to drive yet..I was a bit nausea and very hungry I even asked her to drive faster and dropped by at Solaris Putra Petronas's station. Grabbed AM Breakfast @ KFC.. 2 set of them okkayy!


After visiting the site, I started to feel feverish and I kept sneezing. The weather was so hot . Went to the toilet, I've found creamy white mucus again. I'm not surprised as I usually having this before getting my period. A bit down...and hope it just mucus nothing else..and I don't feel any sore boobs..just  I started to notice there's blue vain at my chest especially my shoulder. Maybe it's nothing..maybe it's been there since forever..



dpiui7....
Woke up at 3am, 4am, 6am, 8am just to pee..Finally woke up at 10am. Mr. Harvey went to food exhibition,  wearing his Dunhill Red. The smell so overpowered! *Tapi dia memang suka pakai perfume banyak banyak..

Pee like 3 times from 10am till 2pm. I didn't drink any water since morning. I was so hungry, I've eaten two pack instant indomee goreng with fried eggs..

After 15 minutes, I felt nausea and wanted to vomit! *Tak kan sebab makan 2 pack mee? Dah biasa kot makan 2 pack indomee..I felt windy inside and I need to throw up..I have to..so I grabbed plastic bag and deeped my head in and forced myself to throw up...*Muntah jugak akhirnya..but not much

..but nausea still there..I kept on rubbing my tummy to burp myself..and it worked

Nausea getting better now...

Another 1 week to go...I wonder what the result might be...

*Praying hard....

note: Morning temp: 36.47 deg Celsius
        Temp at 2.35pm :  37.27 deg Celsius

Expired OPK perhaps?

Today is my 6 day past IUI...and this thing drives me crazy...

I am POAS addict.. (Pee on a Stick Addict). I have left over of my OPK and keep on peeing on those sticks every single day!!

I know , I supposed to take HPT (Home Pregnancy Test) instead of OPK. But why not using it? OPK could detect both HCG and LH hormone right? Logically...*sebenarnya malas nak pi beli..hehe

This what drives me insane...

2 days ago the test line was completely gone..just very tiny line which I need to squeeze my eyes so hard at those OPK. and I was certain that the line was no more there.

So I thought "Ok..my HCG Trigger shot (Pubergen)  no more in the system...its time for me to buy HPT and test it after 5-6 days"

Unfortunately, I was having flue and so-called-feverish yesterday and the day before..no mood to go out and buy HPT for myself..

So last night I was bored and OPK was like calling me to waste them with my urine and insanity..hihihih

I have another 9 OPK left and I was like "ala habiskan jela ....nanti beli balik dengan Mama Nad(My supplier)"

So I peed..and to my surprise the freaking line was there.. I talked to myself  "Are you kidding me..Why you here..I thought you already gone?"

That was yesterday night..equals to my 5 day past IUI

So today, I woke up around 8am something went to pee, and grabbed my OPK...

and the line still there and slightly darker..

Impossible cause its too early!!

Implantation supposed to be at 6 day past ovulation and the surge should be detected by OPK or HPT 2-3 days after that...

I know its impossible..it got me thinking... "OPK ni dah expired kot....."

Its all about timing timing timing!!!

Hola Soulsista!!

Honestly, I'm really really nervous for my HPT result..*Another 2 week!

During my twoweekwait..I keep on thinking...was my IUI timing right? What if doctor was wrong..what if I was right? and vice versa.

My fear about this IUI is not about my egg..and definitely not about Mr. Harvey deposit. I'm really worried about the timing..Both Ms. Ovie and Mr. Spermy got really short window for them to meet each other..

• Ms. Ovie only last for 24 hours *Remember, 24 hours is at MOST ya..it cud be 8 hours, 10 hours, 18 hours!!
• Mr. Spermie after being washed only can last 24hours -72 hours..*Normally spermie should last 5-7 days.

HOW Laaa??

Question is now...
1) What if Ms Ovie ovulated earlier than 36 which earlier than doctor expected?
I know that follicle within 20mm above could rupture by themselves meaning that even though doctor           triggered HCG shot, this follicle may not response to this trigger cause my body might release LH surge naturally (remember..HCG and LH are like sisters. There are look alike..except one of them might wearing different color of 'hat') heheh like this:

Same face but wearing diff hats..same goes to LH and HCG

So what if my left follicle (last scanned was 21mm) ruptured earlier than what doctor expected? Cause I felt cramping the day before my IUI procedure which 18 hours after my trigger shot *Confused eh? 


2) What if Ms Ovie ovulated later than 36 hours?
Is Mr. Spermie can hold that longer..??

Ahh..mamamia...I'm having insomnia!! I know its not good for me to think all these questions too much...But I'm Gemini...Its my nature to be curious..My brain is designed to keep on generating more and more question and curiosity..I couldn't help it..I wish I could..! LOL~~

I really hope that my follicles were not ruptured earlier as what I feared most (my 1st question). I really really hope that the sensation and cramping that I felt the day before my IUI was due to the big follicle that swelling to gear up to the ovulation which supposed to be triggered on the day of IUI...

*Sometimes I felt like I'm gambling at casino playing blackjack..cause its all about luck, timing, calculating and counting!! grrrrr~~

*hmmm..Why can't we have an obvious sign as soon as the egg fertilized before implantation..like our belly button pops out or we turn a color. LOL Something that doesn't leave us guessing forever..heheh

*twoweekwait is killing me!! 

I hope the baby dust will be sprinkled at me soon...


See ya!!

xoxo

Will update IUI Symptoms soon!

Hola Soulsista..!

Today is my Day 2 IUI, some people just call it 2dpiui *and I counted Day of  IUI as my 1dpiui..

I won't update and create new post everyday just to tell my symptoms..*Macam boring kan sikit2 je update.. So, what am gonna do is to collect or accumulate all my symptoms from Day 1 until final day before I'm having my urine tested. *and I'm just looking for double line..Ya, Allah...makbulkan la hasrat Hamba-Mu ini...


Don't wait up for my IUI post...not for this 2 week wait.. I might be posting some other thing but IUI..  :D


Cheers!!

xoxo

Day 1: IUI

I reached Hospital at 10.10am. It suposed to be like 5 minutes driving but the traffic quite heavy..*Menyampah  betul..Oh yea, Im going alone, I just don't like Mr. Harvey to accompany me..its nothing actually, and he looked tired..x nak susahkan dia..kesian..

So I've waited about 15 minutes to be called... The assistant won't take the washed sperm , not till I reached in front of her..hehehe..*maybe to avoid any complication to the sperm..

The procedure is okay..is not hurt at all...just felt uncomfortable. Doc instructed me to let loose my body and he asked me not to stiff myself cause  the Ms. V muscle will be tighten and hard for catheter to be inserted inside Ms. V..

I hope I'm using the right word, 

First, he inserted catheter inside my Ms. V ..Catheter is something like duck beak (paruh itik). Which to assist the syringe to get into our vagina and straight to uterus..*a bit comfortable...layan je..

After that he inserted the syringe and of course I don't feel a thing cause the 'duck beak' already open up my vagina to be some sort like big tunnel..

Suddenly, I felt like this explosion of wave inside my uterus. I scream a bit..not because I'm hurting.. I'm in shocked.. its like your uterus was being gushed by liquid..so sudden and you not prepared..and the feeling is similar when you hold your pee too long and your tummy's like bloated with all the urine fluid..something like that..

after that he asked me just lay down for 10 minutes.. He didn't do any scan to check my egg.. I don't know why..*nak taya lebih..takut..

and guess what..

Mr Harvey sperm count was 232 millions...*Wow...I really underestimated his specimen..It was really cenonet and tiny but the result was da boom!!

Quite sad, I did tell him about the result when I got home.. his face was like so proud..it makes me sad...

I told him "Honestly I really thought your sperm would be less than 5 million...and I think I will be happy if it's less than 5 million..not because I don't want kid...I really do..Now, it just makes me feel that I am the only one who complicate this effort and I'm the only one who needs to carry the burden...I'm tired.. at least if you have problem, I don't have to put effort too much and fix my body here and there..I'm tired..I penat okay...but if I x berusaha and  asyik pikir penat..sampai bila bila I tak akan dapat anak"

I cried infront of him...*hate when that's happened..

I know Mr. Harvey felt pity and sad for me..thank god he didn't show it..all he said " I really don't mind if you don't put an effort..we can adopt if you feel tired..I can love the kids like our own kid..If I can love him or her..You can do better.."

I replied " No..you are not in my shoes..You will never understand. I don't want to adopt just yet..just let me try my very best until I had enough..."

------------------------------------------------------------------

This is just my very first cycle of  IUI.. There're women out there who are suffered more than enough but strived their best to get their happiness...

If they can do it..why can't i?

I will update to you any symptom (if any) tonight ya..

xoxo!!

Hours before IUI

Darn..!

It's 5:30 am, suddenly I woke up when I realized Mr. Harvey was about to sleep??? *He promised NOT to sleep one whole night...tidakkk!!!!

So I asked him using my high pitch voice "Sayang!! Don't sleep yet la..you promised me not to sleepppp...I really hate when you doing this..."

*I started to be emotional..I have right to be emotional!

"I'm sleepy la..movie kita beli semua boring..."

I was really MAD and  suddenly I cried ...

"You are not like any other man!!..Nanti kalau I kejutkan you nak amik sperm...sure you'll get mad and start acting like tutttt"
*Yes , I cursed..I'm not perfect..he's not either okay..and he was even laughing when he saw me cried..so cruel!


Still..he went to sleep..    *He IS one of a kind..urghhh


So, I woke up, pi kemas rumah, jemur kain..gosok baju... I need to do all heavy chores so that I could relax for couple of days after IUI...

At 7.15am..I embraced myself and try to be brave enough to wake him up..*Fyi, I never wake him up before..cause he hates when people doing that except his phone alarm (meaning that he's only responded to work related calls and thus his phone/work alarm )..That's it...

Even his parents failed to wake him up since forever.. *power tak husnband I!! geramnyaa


After 1 hour...

I laid down beside him ...and tapped his shoulder slowly with my sweet face .. *Dalam hati tensen sbenarnya..hipokrit kan

"Wake up wake uppppp sayangg....its time..I need to collect your seed.." *So funnyyyy!!!!

He woke up instantly with his red eyes and fierce face ..." right now ke? Ok jap."

Pheww!!...Thank God..He was able not to be grumpy-selfish-creature..*hehehe

So I gave him  his laptop for him to watch whatever that could stimulate his mood..

I also gave him Conceive Plus to help him lubricate the area..*This is my theory..other lubs will harm the sperms but I hope Conceive Plus able to help Mr. Harvey to smoothly 'doing' his thing without harming his sperm..

I just waited for him at our living room ..watching my Diva Universal Channel..


After 40 minutes ..lama betul


Mr Harvey called me and gave me his specimen..

"Eh sikitnyaa..cukup ke ni...are you nervous? " * I started being pushy and annoying ...typical me..haha..seriously sikit gila...like 2ml?? cenonet okay!

He tried to answer without getting mad...

"Its not about the portion..its about the quality inside this portion" *Wah...macamla dia tau sangat..study pasal ni pun tak pernah...konfiden nyerrr kann...!

So, I just mumbling to myself..and immediately took the specimen and put in between my boobs.. *yes..we need to put the specimen near to the body temperature. Our boobs is the best place to ensure the sperm is comfortable and warm inside container.


In a flash I drove to the hospital and leave Mr. Harvey alone..I needed to go to the lab quickly and get the sperm washed done.


While droving to the Tawakal Hospital, I was quite worried about the specimen portion.."biar betul ni...dalam ni ada berapa je ni...ntah ntah x sampai 1 million..after wash..berapa sangat yang tinggal" *teruk betul I ni..I know, but I couldn't help myself..

 I reached to the lab, and handed over to the laboratorist..

Macam biasa...I managed to get some answers from her...in conclusion we can't judge based on portion ..we will never know until the sperm got washed and analyzed  .. *we'll see how..

After that, I went to Dr. Jaafar assistant and she asked me to come back at 10am

I went back home..having my breakfast..Mr. Harvey.??.He didn't sleep...He watched Youtube while waiting for me.. He's not being romantic..Never...He just couldn't sleep since our 'beloved neighbor' doing their house renovation and drilling their wall like nobody business.... *Bravo Jiran..!!.Award for The Best Neighbor of the Year goes to you! Ceh..


10:17 am...

Hospital called..the result and doctor are ready for my IUI.. *yeay!!

"Vrooooommmm.... Lets goooo !!!"

Ps: Curios to know Mr Harvey's count...hope for the best!!

Tick Tock for my 1st IUI

Dear Ms. B,

I'm very nervous..fatigue (due to HCG trigger) .. I can feel my left ovary and right kinda twinges..is that ovulation...? are they already out and ready to be fertilized? I'm not sure..but I'm counting the hours now...


It's been exactly 24 hours since my Pubergen Shot. Another 12 hours to go...Please dear egg...hold on..do not release yourself just yet..you will wasting your 12 hours before able to meet the right sperm to come near you...don't waste you time...seat tight and bertahannnnn!!! You can do this..


Another 9 hours before Mr. Harvey deposit his seed. Thank god, he's purposely take his annual leave tomorrow and vow that he won't sleep until all his mighty soldiers safely landed inside the sterile container....

*He doesn't want to sleep one whole night...Dia la manusia paling susah bangun tidur pagi and doesn't even bother about anything once asleep..so better for him not to sleep at all..He can have his sleep after that..I don't mind he's no accompanying me... just like his mom said to me...I AM ONE TOUGH WOMAN...!! peace y'all!