Chori Chori Chupke Chupke

Hola!

So while turning to Astro Channel..I bumped into TV3...Terdetik hati..."Eh. Cerita Hindustan...tengok lah"

Starring Preity Zinta, Salman Khan and Rani Mukherji..

Lil that I know, the movies is based on the taboo issue of surrogate mother..

I've never watched this movie...

Within 5 minutes...I cried...Salman Khan as Raj truly love his wife and willing to lie about her miscarriage since all he wanted to cover up infront of his family.. the miscarriage accident  actually forced the doctor to remove his wife's womb...in order to save Priya..

Walaupun hanya lakonan semata mata...I cried...I can feel the pain that Rani went through.. and how she's willing to give up and share her love with other woman..as long she's able to see her husband able to get his own heir for the family...

Cerita tak habis lagi...but I bet I will be crying at every single of the scenes..

Preity Zinta not yet appeared..She must be the surrogate mother..

ok la...Iklan dah habis....movie dah start balik

Oh ya.. the meaning of Chori Chori Chupke Chupke .. "Secretly and Silently"
See ya!!

Durian ..Urgh

Metformin really makes my ass hurts..It upset my stomach..

I went to bathroom for 8 times!!..My ass a bit sore now ...(sorry..tmi!!)

I don't have craving food anymore..but still I ate Durian like crazy gorilla..Cause its not that easy to get Durian since its very seasonal...so when I got the opportunity..Apa lagi...Seranggggg!!! And its free flow, my client has this 'dusun' full of local fruits such as Durian, Manggis, Duku, Pulasan, Rambutan..U NAME IT!! *Gila kau kalau mak tak bedal??hahaha

So when I finished eating ..suddenly my stomach was grumbling and I rushed to the toilet for 8 times..a bit embarrassed since everybody was there and I need to storm out and leave our conversation hanging just like that...

My buddy-colleague saw that I started to get red blush on my cheek and I started to sweating like pig..
He asked me if I was alright

 "Babe..Ko okay x? ke dah mabuk durian..perut ko terkejut ni.."

Of course my perut terkejut...I ate like 3-4 durians all by myself...lol...crazy me!!

Now I'm not sure what makes my tummy upset..was it Durian or due to Metformin.. *Cause I heard Metformin will upset our stomach especially when we eat Carbo food and food with high-sugar contains..

If my stomach hurts due to Durian...pheww at least I know I just need to go through this only for 24hours..

But if Metformin caused this toilet-rush...Darn...I need to go through this for 1 month..*Doc supplied for 1 month...

p/s: I really hope that this diarrhea will reduce my water retention weight!!..hehehe

IUI #2: 1st Appointment

Hola soulsista!!

Just met my dear Dr. Suhaimi..

He shocked to see me gaining weight so fast!

I told about my sneaky project going elsewhere on my first attempt of IUI..hihihi

He was okay with it...thank god...but he said that I'm not supposed to take Duphaston..I was right..Duphaston really work her magic in  increasing my body mass *curse you Duphaston!!

So today's ingredient for my body...Doc gave me

1. 150mg of clomid..to be taken at night..from Day 2 till day Day 6
2. Metformin to be taken twice daily...

Finally he granted my wish and gave me the Metformin pills!!

Metformin is for diabetic patient and PCOS patient . This drug basically will give message to our brain not to produce androgen/testosterone hormone. *So kurang la hormon jantan ku! yeay!

 The side effect after testosterone hormone being reduced??

I WILL LOSE MY APPETITE AND THE URGE OF EATING WILL BE LESSER...! 

*Itu yang aku nak sebenarnya!! Shortcut to get back my ideal weight in safest way..

But not sure whether its working or not..we'll see in one month time.. :)


Peace ya'll!!

P/S: Brenda!! AF finally arrive.. full blast.!!..taking my clomid tomorrow..

Tips from my sweet brother in law

Hola soulsista..

While laying down watching Maharaja Lawak Mega 2012 with Mr. Harvey.. I got one SMS from my BIL (Brother in-law)

"Hey sis, do you have Viber? Would like to send you this one photo.."

Hmmm...Curious..what photo...perhaps photo of me getting chubbier? He looovvveee teasing me about my weight gain..new hobby perhaps pftttt..!!..sometimes I feel like smacking him down..!!!heheh..but he's just so sweet and loving person..I love him deary..so I don't bother that much...

Anyway, I replied

"I don't have Viber..what pic? You snapped candid picture of me getting fat issit? or u snap picture of me picking  my nose??hehehhe"

After 10 minutes ...he called me...ekekek..he kinda pissed ..

"Kak Izzy ku sayang..you think my time is dedicated to stalk you and snap ur your pic heh? haha..I got better things to do la instead of bothering u..duhh haha..Actually, I wanted to send you 1 photo about tips for couple who's hard to conceive..My sis friend use this tips from one of the Ustaz..maybe you could try?"

Get offensive from his help? No..cause he knows I was desperately trying my best to conceive..he just trying to help...I'm lucky to have everybody who loves and cares for me...

"Nak nak..of cause I want the tips..apa tips dia"

"1st you need to find 4 dates (kurma). Two for you, and two for Harvey..both of you grasp it tightly..after that take out the seeds from the dates..and blend the dates with goat milk and salawat keatas nabi while drinking... Oh and..you should try this just ONCE in your life time..take it just one time and that's it..that's what the ustaz said..xleh wat 2-3 kali..xelok untuk badan"

"oh...okay...but Harvey hates milk.."

" Kak..just give a try to talk dengan abang aku tu...of all people he should be the one who understand this.."

Later, I hung up his call..

Mr Harvey asked about the call..

I told him about his brother's concerned and tips..he paused..and nodded his head..

I asked him.. "Sayang..can u try to just once drink the milk..kita hanya perlu buat satu kali je seumur hidup...don't ask me why..I don't know.."

Suddenly he said "OKKKAAYYYY"

"OKAYYY??? U PROMISED HARVEY??"

"OKAYYYYYY...I promised..."

Pheww...lega...

#1 IUI: Bad news and gaining weight!!

The result.....

:(

I stopped taking my progesterone (Duphaston) pills 2 days ago..

Aunt Flow does not show her face yet.. but I know she will come.. How do I know?

Cause I've noticed brownish mucus just now..

She's definitely coming..

What makes me sad the most?

1. My 1st IUI attempt failed..of course ..that's obvious..

but the thing that makes me sad most is.. I've tortured my body too much..

I gained 3kg within 2-3 weeks...thanks to both of you  Clomid and Duphaston..

Being in late 20's.. (I'm 28), it is really hard to reduce weight..!! Arghh!!

All this yoyo mission led to my inconsistent body mass..

I've gained 12 kg so far within 2 years..I'm so bumped!!

So hard to compromise between my diet and my craving for foods...

Determination is the key point..I know..its not that easy..

Should I go see my doctor and express this concern..Should I take a break from TTC for a while and focus on my weight?

I need to sit down and pause and take my own time to think this deeply..


I gained NOTHING!! but ADDING NUMBERS TO MY WEIGHT SCALE!!..


Dear... Let me bring you my nostalgic memories and I'd love to share with you guys the 2 years of my  milestone ..."Journey of my weight"

 :(   :(   :( 

Right before I met my Mr. Harvey..late 2009

Early 2010..My happiness.. when I met Mr. Harvey ..
He looked skinny back then..he just met her soulmate..wait till after 2 years.. :P

June 2010 and  6 months in a relationship..before get married
in Feb 2011

Nov 2011..Nine months married ..

Feb 2012. This day is the day I conceived with unborn baby..
Miscarried in April 2012

Happily married  &
 maintaining my ideal weight

June 2012..Two months after miscarriage. This is where my weight started
to go upside down like crazy yoyo!!

Sept 2012. Muka and body becoming chubbier..!!

Same Occasion..Thank god Mr. Harvey also gaining weight..
He gained 12kgs since he met me.. kesian...

Oct 2012..4 days before my laparoscopy..gosh my face..let alone my body!

Nov 2012.. One month after my laparoscopy!!! I'm huge!!

Early December 2012..Before my IUI

December  2012.. After my  IUI...
taking my Duphaston around this time

Today's photo..while waiting for my AF..
my face becoming chubbier and chubbier...and it took only 2 weeks!!!

I need to do something..ah...

Today

My IUI was  on 8th December 2012

Its 19th December 2012

It means its been 11 days past IUI for god-knows how many cycle for the past 2 years

The result is BIG FAT NEGATIVE

I'm not putting hope for this cycle..

Still continuing peeing on sticks like a mad woman 

Will keep on peeing until AF shows her way towards me and breaks my heart...

Breaks my heart again and again and again..

Mourning for 2-3 days and Mr. Harvey getting sick and sick looking me turning myself into crazy woman

AF supposed to come visit me at 25th December...another 6 days to go...

I think my AF will come a bit late..I can feel it..She likes to toy with my feeling..

I know she will be late this month just to see me wrecking myself upside down..

I'm sure cause I took Duphaston which also will delay my ugly Aunt Flow..

I started to feel cramp like AF..shoot.. I hate this..

Nevertheless, don't want to beat myself up..

Tomorrow, I will start my diet regime.I'm getting and  fat-ing myself..thanks to all the hormones pills

I gained 3 kgs..WTF!!

Really need to diet..Mr. Harvey started to call me fat-ass ... I'm fucked!!

I really don't want to pretend myself.."hey..I'm Okay..I'm fine"

I'm not fine...I'm not in good mood..I'm fat, I feel flabby, my wardrobe doesn't like me anymore..

2moro..no more  about "pregnant? not preganant? gila? ke x gila?"

I will strive to something that I know I could achieve it if I put enough effort..

DIET...Put effort ...result 100% guaranteed.!!

see u brenda..

xoxo

 

Devastated...

I felt devastated,

Today is my 10 day post IUI..and I felt nothing!.. No symptoms.. Nada... Arghh

All I noticed was twinges here and and there, cramps here and there..felt like AF was about to show her ugly face..i hate aunt flow so bad now...

I bought 20 sticks of pregnancy test..yes 20! Mama Nad trying to post it tomorrow..While waiting the postage to arrive in front of my front sdoor, I bought 2 test @ Watson..just to ease my mind..

I bought "Dip  n Tell" ..

10 dpiui...the result is BIG FAT NEGATIVE!

I don't feel any sore boobs.. any creamy white lotiony mucus...nothing ..! My face not even break out..I'm so devastated..

Yesterday I asked Mr. Harvey..."Let's play a game..let's pick up baby's name?"

He just glanced me and said "what for? we don't even have any kid..why should we"

He even said  "Dah try usaha macam macam..tak mengandung ngandung pun..." (Put too much effort but you don't even get pregnant ever since)

How could he...How could he said that..I felt my heart shattered..

I felt so sad with his harsh word.. Shouldn't I be?

I cried silently.....

Went to bed and cried silently..

Too afraid to show to him that I hated him when he said that..


I hate this feeling..somehow I just want to give up and spend all my money buying designer's handbag and branded shoes..

There's no use of me being the only one who go up and down, searching remedy if I don't get moral support from my loved ones..


Brenda.. am I useless..?

A roller coaster of emotions

Am I pregnant..

I'm Pregnant..

I'm not pregnant..

Using the same word 'pregnant' but carries 3 different statement...

From now on, I don't want to keep on thinking about this two weekwait.. it drives me mad..it really does make me crazy..cause I will never know the status until this 25th December, which AF supposed to visit me with her ugly face..

How should I occupy myself...Mr. Harvey is very busy man...should I just go to work during weekend? Just to make myself busy?

Brenda, please be my strength if the result came negative...I don't want to cry ..cause if I cried..It means I couldn't accept the destiny that Allah gives me for now...


I'm the only one could calm myself...patience is virtue..be patience..one day the miracle will come..

dpiui 8 : What happened to my OPK?

Should I freaking out? Should I get and buy home pregnancy test now?? Argh...I just couldn't believe my eyes...

So here goes,

I did post up the latest symptom of 8 days after iui...the latest update .. I had nausea and forced myself throwing up just to make myself better..I worked for 10 seconds.!..and the nausea started to attack me on and on...

I just played dumb and ignoring it while watching WipeOut show @ AXN Channel. But it's getting weird and weirder..It won't go away .. I burped few times and suddenly I felt my burp tried to push  out all the foods I've eaten ..*but I swallowed it back..I know..gross..it happened spontaneously!

So I tested my urine with remaining OPK... please take a look the last two of my OPK (bottom two)..

I collected about 8 OPKs.. (banyak dah buang..) The top OPK is the 1st test I've taken (4dpiui), meanwhile the bottom is my latest OPK (8dpiui)..

As you can see the last 3 OPK (from the bottom) shows that my HCG Trigger Shot already gone..meaning out from the system...as you can see..the test line getting lighter and lighter until its totally gone and I was convinced that no more HCG from the trigger shot in my body..

But today, it seems that the OPK caught new surge of LH or HCG (they both are look a like).

*Please click  to get better understanding correlation between HCH and LH hormones..

My my, suddenly she reappeared @ 8dpiui/ 8dpo and I am so damn confused..I know I should get HPT to confirm it..but its tooo early for HPT to detect..*baru 8 hari...cepat sangat tak nak check...??


I don't want to get my hope so high..I know I shouldn't ...

OPK could really detect early pregnancy? I definitely gonna google it..!!


Peace y'all!!

xoxo

IUI Cycle 1: Symptoms from 1dpiui - 7dpiui

Hola Soulsista!

As promised, I will update all my symptoms from 1 day post IUI (dpiui1 ) until 7dpiui.. (considered as my half cycle of 2weekwait)...


IUI day..
My day 1 I felt cramping mostly at my left ovary..It was like something was pinching and stabbing inside my pelvic.. Doc said it was normal for me to have this cramp and bloating .. or perhaps due to 232 million of spermies tried to race to my Ms. Ovie..Hehe..

The very same day..Mr. Harvey and I went to see movie marathon and of " Rise of the Guardian " and "Twilight:Breaking Part2?" *I was not into those two movies..Mr Harvey yang semangat..so layan je ler.. 

I walked super slow cause I still got the shooting pain..We managed to have some fun .. went out together, eat  load of seafood... But I couldn't eat that much..felt bloated.

We went back home  around 12:00 am..geez...we were so tired..both of us just went to bad without even changed our clothes off and I didn't  even bother to take my bath and my makeup off! *Musnah plan nak ehem ehem with Mr. Harvey


dpiui1...
I woke up at 8:40 am, went to bathroom to pee and got back to sleep. I peed 2-3 times within 5 hours which is not normal for me..But I don't think that was one of the symptoms.

We both woke up at 1.30 pm!..We've slept almost 13 hours!! *But still I'm sleepy headed type. maybe its nothing ...

I also  felt bloated and cramped both side, more on my lefty. My back hurts. Perhaps, maybe Duphaston pill plays its trick? Doc asked me to take it from dpiui1 for 2 weeks and stopped once my menstrual arrived *Hope not!! . Duphaston mimicking Progesterone hormone and it also could give false pregnancy symptoms like nausea, sore boobs, hot flush... At least, I know that I don't need to put my hope high for this cycle..just take it easy...

dpiui2..
Still sore at my left ovary , pain at my hips and left leg, my boob sore (probably due to Duphaston). I got sore throat a bit ..

Slept at 2.00 am, but Mr. Harvey woke me up at 5.00 am and seduced me..I was reluctant  at first cause I'm worried about implantation and my condition.. But I just went for it hehe... cause he knows how to  seduce me and make me turned on..grrrr~~~~


dpiui3...
Cramps still but no much compared to the other day. Last 3 days I need to re-position myself to avoid pressure at my low abdomen.. But I could feel both side swelling *Macam denyut denyut manja gitu..
I'm taking leave for 1 week ..*gedik tak..padahal ada conference dekat Melaka..but I don't dare to travel lah...
************************************

New update, I just took a nap about one hour and so. When I woke up my head spinning *Maybe Maghrib time kot.. And when I lied down and pushing my boobs on top of my pillow.. my boobs started to feel tender.. I felt a bit pain inside..not much but noticeable. I also had this leg pain , and my palm also felt cramp *ala ala kebas.. The sensational is still there..I can feel that my right finger is cramping while typing this update..

Oh yea I', also got back pain..and ate gazillion a lot!! Lunch, I've eaten Maggi , for hi-tea I've taken Nasi Goreng USA..at night makan Big Apple's Doughnut and ate nasi goreng at 1.00 am ..shaiiitttt..I really don't like Duphaston doing this to me..Duphaston really increase my appetite..arghhhh!!


dpiui4..
It's 1.40am now, still blogging and spending my quality time with Mr. Harvey..*Teman dia tengok Maharajalawak Mega...He's addicted to this reality show..When I'm writing this I felt sore throat and stuffy nose..my body a bit warm maybe nak demam..my temperature is now 36.70 deg Celsius.
***********************************
I slept at 2.15 am, can't wait much longer. Woke up at 9.00am cause got call from my boss - work related... After that, went to bath room to pee and at the same time temping my body..it 36.66 deg Celsius..and noticed my gum slightly swollen..



dpiui5...
My fever getting better..but my temperature now is consistently at 37.00 - 37.2ihs deg Celsius..I keep on temping my body every 30 minutes..LOL...Mr Harvey did tell his mother about me being so obsessive with my thermometer. He felt like wanted to break the thermometer into two pieces..*psycho..uwekk..!


Last temp before went to bed was 37.13 deg Celsius.
I have one time creamy white mucus very lotiony..but that was it. Once off when I wiped my Ms V.



dpiui6....
Went to work at site with my subordinate. She drove my car since I'm not that confidence to drive yet..I was a bit nausea and very hungry I even asked her to drive faster and dropped by at Solaris Putra Petronas's station. Grabbed AM Breakfast @ KFC.. 2 set of them okkayy!


After visiting the site, I started to feel feverish and I kept sneezing. The weather was so hot . Went to the toilet, I've found creamy white mucus again. I'm not surprised as I usually having this before getting my period. A bit down...and hope it just mucus nothing else..and I don't feel any sore boobs..just  I started to notice there's blue vain at my chest especially my shoulder. Maybe it's nothing..maybe it's been there since forever..



dpiui7....
Woke up at 3am, 4am, 6am, 8am just to pee..Finally woke up at 10am. Mr. Harvey went to food exhibition,  wearing his Dunhill Red. The smell so overpowered! *Tapi dia memang suka pakai perfume banyak banyak..

Pee like 3 times from 10am till 2pm. I didn't drink any water since morning. I was so hungry, I've eaten two pack instant indomee goreng with fried eggs..

After 15 minutes, I felt nausea and wanted to vomit! *Tak kan sebab makan 2 pack mee? Dah biasa kot makan 2 pack indomee..I felt windy inside and I need to throw up..I have to..so I grabbed plastic bag and deeped my head in and forced myself to throw up...*Muntah jugak akhirnya..but not much

..but nausea still there..I kept on rubbing my tummy to burp myself..and it worked

Nausea getting better now...

Another 1 week to go...I wonder what the result might be...

*Praying hard....

note: Morning temp: 36.47 deg Celsius
        Temp at 2.35pm :  37.27 deg Celsius

Baby Cot..for fun.. :D

I'm so bored today...Mr. Harvey got foods exhibition @ PWTC..

Suddenly I have this idea..since I've got nothing to do...my tingling fingers started to search 'baby cot' , 'baby mobile cot' , 'branded baby cot' , 'baby cot for twins', 'baby cot for triplet'

crazy..? No lah...I just googled for fun..and the baby cot images ..ah so beautifulistaaa!

Double Decker

This is certainly an ingenious idea for multiple babies, the Double Decker Twin Cot. If you are tight on space and have more than one child, this set of bunk beds for babies is a great idea, but who'd want to be the baby on the bottom? The little mite would certainly be cosy.

This compact setup is perfect for newborns. The removable bassinet is made of soft fabrics for baby’s skin. Designed to imitate the womb, this travel bed features vibrations, sounds, and songs to soothe baby to sleep. Complete with a changing table, this playard organizes all of your little one’s necessities.  

Natural way

For those moms who want only the most natural environment for her baby, this travel cot is perfect. The materials that it is made from are organic cotton that grows in green, brown, and cream. Beautiful and simple, yet also very practical. The changing table makes changing diapers a breeze in the middle of the night. 

I'm loving this!.. Hushamok

Elegant!

Hushamok..Sleek baby!

The Hushamok. It’s the curvy, sleek choice for those of us who like a more modern look at homes. It is made from 100% pre-shrunk organic cotton and comes with a stunning lightweight stand that is easily relocated and dismantled for travel. The kit comes with a sheet in the same colour as the hammock and a travel bag, and the entire contraption weighs just 9kgs. 

Manhattan Crib.. New York style..

Loving it so much...

Tiffany Color..My favorite..

My Aaron Aziz and I

Hola Soulsist,

Today I was sooo lazy to write anything...my fever datang lagi... grrr...cramping is gone now..not much..when I laid still, I can feel small cramp here and there..Mr. Harvey aka my own Aaron Aziz watching Maharajalawak Mega 2012..Shiro is performing now, I love both of these guy...not so good looking but they are very presentable and got this aura which makes me  smiling and falling in love with their act and jokes week by week..so hilarious.. and laid-back..apart from that..I'm madly attached to JOZAN..so freaking hilarious..My head cracked and my brain boiled with laughter whenever I saw them...

Mr. Harvey? He could watch all the episodes..over and over again and laugh at the same joke..laugh so hard his tears flowing down..so weird..


Sambil2 tu...Me with Mr. Harvey..biasala..anak tak ada lagi..ambil gambar sendiri je la..hehehe

My current body temperature 37.23 deg Celsius.. pretty high for me..\\\

See ya!!

xoxo

3 within one week..I'm doomed!

I feel like crying..I hate when I have this new hobby...!!

Spending the money while surfing... !gulpp

I have the tendency of buying things...when I'm nervous ..feeling pressure..or frustrated.. now I'm addicted to Victoria closet shopping online..I've bought 3 handbags within one week....uwaaaa...*there goes my money!!

Mr Harvey thought that I just bought one handbag...Marc by Marc Jacob. * itu pun dia dah nagging!!~~.

Lil that he know...


I lied...


I bought three..


and I bought this..

Marc by Marc Jacobs

this....

Coach Hampton Stripe Tote

and this...

Coach Legacy Metallic Leather..

Mr. Harvey doesn't know about all the bags except Marc...

...and he's also well known as having a sharp and alert eyes especially when I bought something new.. cause I don't do shopping quite sometimes..

Aiseh...Where I'm gonna hide these bags...the best part...bila nak pakai?? How?? He's going to know eventually...* Pening nak kelentong apa...

Should I blame my 2weekwait?? hmmmm... :(

Dead meat..again...!! *Cryyyy

New tooth and hearing someone puking??

Suddenly I remembered!

I did have one weird dream last night..

I dreamed that I'm getting new teeth not teeth but tooth! I have all new tooth at my top

The weird  is, the top gum seemed transparent and I could see 'new' tooth were pushing down my old tooth..*what an imagination...!

And of course being so obsessive... apa lagi! Google mai!!!

So I've found this

http://bicarathtl.forumms.net/t1092-mimpi-tumbuh-gigi

Losing teeth/ tooth: We are about to lose one of the closest family
Getting new tooth : Might be having new family, perhaps new cousins, *son or daughter?? :D


Hello Hellooo ....I'm officially losing my mind heree...

Anyhoo.. while Mr. Harvey prepared himself to work he asked me something extremely weird...

"Sayang, did you just puke this morning?"

"Huh..what puke? Where? " I asked him

"Restroom, I heard you uweeek uweekkk" He said...

I asked him again..." Did you see me sleeping beside you..?"

He paused..and said " No..."

"Well fyi...I did not puke..and I didn't even go to bathroom.."

Then who? he asked ..."Hantu? Ghost?"

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW!

New unnecessary information that can make me even crazier...! *sigh

Expired OPK perhaps?

Today is my 6 day past IUI...and this thing drives me crazy...

I am POAS addict.. (Pee on a Stick Addict). I have left over of my OPK and keep on peeing on those sticks every single day!!

I know , I supposed to take HPT (Home Pregnancy Test) instead of OPK. But why not using it? OPK could detect both HCG and LH hormone right? Logically...*sebenarnya malas nak pi beli..hehe

This what drives me insane...

2 days ago the test line was completely gone..just very tiny line which I need to squeeze my eyes so hard at those OPK. and I was certain that the line was no more there.

So I thought "Ok..my HCG Trigger shot (Pubergen)  no more in the system...its time for me to buy HPT and test it after 5-6 days"

Unfortunately, I was having flue and so-called-feverish yesterday and the day before..no mood to go out and buy HPT for myself..

So last night I was bored and OPK was like calling me to waste them with my urine and insanity..hihihih

I have another 9 OPK left and I was like "ala habiskan jela ....nanti beli balik dengan Mama Nad(My supplier)"

So I peed..and to my surprise the freaking line was there.. I talked to myself  "Are you kidding me..Why you here..I thought you already gone?"

That was yesterday night..equals to my 5 day past IUI

So today, I woke up around 8am something went to pee, and grabbed my OPK...

and the line still there and slightly darker..

Impossible cause its too early!!

Implantation supposed to be at 6 day past ovulation and the surge should be detected by OPK or HPT 2-3 days after that...

I know its impossible..it got me thinking... "OPK ni dah expired kot....."

Fever

Hola Ms. B,

I'm not feeling very well
got sore throat and almost feverish.....I'm tired and need to go to sleep now..Mr. Harvey not coming home yet. He's a bit late..playing snooker with his friend..

Good Night Ms B...

xoxo

Estrogen

Hola Soulsista!

Last post I was talking about female hormones as general..so now we go deep about each of these hormones. Here, I'm going to summarize the benefits, what happened when we have low hormones, imbalance, what cure that we could boost these hormones..etc etc etc..

As mentioned above..I will only focus on our Ms. Estrogen and the importance of this hormone in our daily life.. :D

Estrogen is the reason of your ovary making all the beautiful eggs and they will work very hard if they received a signal from Mr. Brain indicating that we have lack of estrogen..

Like this  ya..

We are designed ever since we were born to be a WOMAN. Therefore, our body is automatically designed to have all these female hormones

Estrogen will keep and maintain  our woman status..hehehe.o

SOOO, our body is designed to have a one brain (duhh...of course la kan) which can consider as an 'eagle eye'...

I have eyes you know..don't play play!!

IF our estrogen decreased... our brain will instantly notice it.. and think "Eh what happened to you, body..I think you didn't have enough estrogen!! This is unacceptable!!"

So the Brain will IMMEDIATELY send a message to the part which supposed to generate estrogen the most ...Ms. Ovary... and Mr. Brain instructed by giving this message"

"Hey you stupid Ovary...Don't act like Diva okay!!..Start producing estrogen now!! Do you want to be A man instead of  A woman huh???"

So Ms Ovary  kind of scared la..We don't want to be man..euww..so Ms. Ovary start la producing estrogen.. tetapi macamana??

She will immediately waking up all the immature eggs inside follicles

 "Up Up!!" She says!..

 Ms Ovary will groom them to be beautifully rounded. Our eggs are the main key and they are the part that can increase estrogen by releasing the hormone when grooming themselves..

But, this situation won't happen naturally. Brain is not simply instructing Ms. Ovary to work her ass off...this situation only happens if we, took Clomid..or other drugs..(I've yet to study the other drugs)..

Clomid is the drug that can fool our body and brain. It can make brain look stupid because Clomid can make the body to lie to the brain by sending a prank message:

"Mr. Brain...our master doesn't have sufficient estrogen. I don't know why...could you ask Ms. Ovary what are they doing now..? Are they sleeping or what??...please help our Master..failing to do so will cause us harm!"

See..how witty is Clomid...and how important it is to have sufficient estrogen in our body..It's the key of our  eggs growth...!!



How to boost our Estrogen naturally??

1. Quick smoking!
2. Maintain healty diet..stay away fast food, high carbo, nak makan nasi? take brown rice instead..:D Stay away from high saturated sugar...Kurang kan gula...jangan minum air manis banyak sangat..no good...no good!!
3. Eat flax seed!! (Kuaci. or just get flax seed oil from pharmacy)
4.Take chasteberry supplements. This herb can be found in pill form in most health stores. Chasteberry improves women's fertility by increasing estrogen levels
5. Eat and drink soy.. Air soya, tempe, tau foo fa..etc etc
6.Get enough of the nutrients your body needs to produce estrogen. Vitamin C, silymarin, omega-3 fatty acids and complex B vitamins are the most relevant nutrients for estrogen deficiencies.
7. Do yoga. Yoga has been shown to help regulate your endocrine system by energizing your adrenal glands.


* CAUTION: Please please be moderate ya..We do not want our body to be 'Estrogen Dominance'. Once dominance..it will make our body to have less Progesterone. These two hormones need to be in balance..We need them to function normally to achieve in sustaining the pregnancy or achieve our target to get pregnant...

Hope these knowledge will help you guys!!

xoxo

Its all about timing timing timing!!!

Hola Soulsista!!

Honestly, I'm really really nervous for my HPT result..*Another 2 week!

During my twoweekwait..I keep on thinking...was my IUI timing right? What if doctor was wrong..what if I was right? and vice versa.

My fear about this IUI is not about my egg..and definitely not about Mr. Harvey deposit. I'm really worried about the timing..Both Ms. Ovie and Mr. Spermy got really short window for them to meet each other..

• Ms. Ovie only last for 24 hours *Remember, 24 hours is at MOST ya..it cud be 8 hours, 10 hours, 18 hours!!
• Mr. Spermie after being washed only can last 24hours -72 hours..*Normally spermie should last 5-7 days.

HOW Laaa??

Question is now...
1) What if Ms Ovie ovulated earlier than 36 which earlier than doctor expected?
I know that follicle within 20mm above could rupture by themselves meaning that even though doctor           triggered HCG shot, this follicle may not response to this trigger cause my body might release LH surge naturally (remember..HCG and LH are like sisters. There are look alike..except one of them might wearing different color of 'hat') heheh like this:

Same face but wearing diff hats..same goes to LH and HCG

So what if my left follicle (last scanned was 21mm) ruptured earlier than what doctor expected? Cause I felt cramping the day before my IUI procedure which 18 hours after my trigger shot *Confused eh? 


2) What if Ms Ovie ovulated later than 36 hours?
Is Mr. Spermie can hold that longer..??

Ahh..mamamia...I'm having insomnia!! I know its not good for me to think all these questions too much...But I'm Gemini...Its my nature to be curious..My brain is designed to keep on generating more and more question and curiosity..I couldn't help it..I wish I could..! LOL~~

I really hope that my follicles were not ruptured earlier as what I feared most (my 1st question). I really really hope that the sensation and cramping that I felt the day before my IUI was due to the big follicle that swelling to gear up to the ovulation which supposed to be triggered on the day of IUI...

*Sometimes I felt like I'm gambling at casino playing blackjack..cause its all about luck, timing, calculating and counting!! grrrrr~~

*hmmm..Why can't we have an obvious sign as soon as the egg fertilized before implantation..like our belly button pops out or we turn a color. LOL Something that doesn't leave us guessing forever..heheh

*twoweekwait is killing me!! 

I hope the baby dust will be sprinkled at me soon...


See ya!!

xoxo

List of female hormones

Hola Soulsista!!

Today I'm going to give you details about our female hormones. Credit to livestrong.com for this informative knowledge  :D

There are several hormones that are considered "female" hormones, and some of them are naturally produced in a man's body as well but not much. What gives them the characteristic of being a female hormone is the role they play in a woman's fertility, and the fact that they are more predominant in women than in men.

Here we go....


ESTROGEN
Estrogen is probably the best known female"sex" hormone. Estrogen is made in the adrenal glands, fatty tissue and the ovaries. Its primary functions are to promote breast growth in puberty, assist with the growth of the uterus lining in the beginning of the menstrual cycle and maintain bone strength by working with calcium, vitamin D and other minerals to prevent bone loss. Small amounts of estrogen are present within a man's body, also.


PROGESTERONE

Like estrogen, progesterone is also produced in the ovaries and adrenal tissue. While estrogen is busy at work at the beginning of the menstrual cycle, progesterone performs in the second half of the cycle. After ovulation, progesterone prepares the lining of the uterus for the egg to be implanted. Low progesterone levels can cause symptoms such as irritability, mood swings, weight gain, depression, pain and osteoporosis. If progesterone is low, estrogen becomes the primary sex hormone, leading to what is termed "estrogen dominance."




TESTOSTERONE/ANDROGEN
Testosterone is considered a male hormone, but just as a small amount of estrogen is produced in men, a small amount of testosterone is produced in women.  Testosterone performs the same function in women as it does men, just lesser. It strengthens a woman's energy level, libido, bones, muscles and sexual responsiveness .Some women have higher levels of testosterone than others. There's a study that found that women with higher testosterone levels are more likely to choose a career that involves bigger risks. *So like my career?? Hiihihihi (higher androgen lead to infertility ...i.e PCOS)


HCG

Another hormone naturally produced in women is hCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin.) HGC is produced in the cells that make up the placenta during pregnancy. It is this hormone that is detected in both blood and urine pregnancy tests. Levels of hCG double every three days, but then level off after 12 weeks of pregnancy. The role of hCG in pregnancy is to maintain the production of progesterone, which warms the body and maintains the lining of the uterus in pregnancy.

That's all for now!!

xoxo

Will update IUI Symptoms soon!

Hola Soulsista..!

Today is my Day 2 IUI, some people just call it 2dpiui *and I counted Day of  IUI as my 1dpiui..

I won't update and create new post everyday just to tell my symptoms..*Macam boring kan sikit2 je update.. So, what am gonna do is to collect or accumulate all my symptoms from Day 1 until final day before I'm having my urine tested. *and I'm just looking for double line..Ya, Allah...makbulkan la hasrat Hamba-Mu ini...


Don't wait up for my IUI post...not for this 2 week wait.. I might be posting some other thing but IUI..  :D


Cheers!!

xoxo

Day 1: IUI

I reached Hospital at 10.10am. It suposed to be like 5 minutes driving but the traffic quite heavy..*Menyampah  betul..Oh yea, Im going alone, I just don't like Mr. Harvey to accompany me..its nothing actually, and he looked tired..x nak susahkan dia..kesian..

So I've waited about 15 minutes to be called... The assistant won't take the washed sperm , not till I reached in front of her..hehehe..*maybe to avoid any complication to the sperm..

The procedure is okay..is not hurt at all...just felt uncomfortable. Doc instructed me to let loose my body and he asked me not to stiff myself cause  the Ms. V muscle will be tighten and hard for catheter to be inserted inside Ms. V..

I hope I'm using the right word, 

First, he inserted catheter inside my Ms. V ..Catheter is something like duck beak (paruh itik). Which to assist the syringe to get into our vagina and straight to uterus..*a bit comfortable...layan je..

After that he inserted the syringe and of course I don't feel a thing cause the 'duck beak' already open up my vagina to be some sort like big tunnel..

Suddenly, I felt like this explosion of wave inside my uterus. I scream a bit..not because I'm hurting.. I'm in shocked.. its like your uterus was being gushed by liquid..so sudden and you not prepared..and the feeling is similar when you hold your pee too long and your tummy's like bloated with all the urine fluid..something like that..

after that he asked me just lay down for 10 minutes.. He didn't do any scan to check my egg.. I don't know why..*nak taya lebih..takut..

and guess what..

Mr Harvey sperm count was 232 millions...*Wow...I really underestimated his specimen..It was really cenonet and tiny but the result was da boom!!

Quite sad, I did tell him about the result when I got home.. his face was like so proud..it makes me sad...

I told him "Honestly I really thought your sperm would be less than 5 million...and I think I will be happy if it's less than 5 million..not because I don't want kid...I really do..Now, it just makes me feel that I am the only one who complicate this effort and I'm the only one who needs to carry the burden...I'm tired.. at least if you have problem, I don't have to put effort too much and fix my body here and there..I'm tired..I penat okay...but if I x berusaha and  asyik pikir penat..sampai bila bila I tak akan dapat anak"

I cried infront of him...*hate when that's happened..

I know Mr. Harvey felt pity and sad for me..thank god he didn't show it..all he said " I really don't mind if you don't put an effort..we can adopt if you feel tired..I can love the kids like our own kid..If I can love him or her..You can do better.."

I replied " No..you are not in my shoes..You will never understand. I don't want to adopt just yet..just let me try my very best until I had enough..."

------------------------------------------------------------------

This is just my very first cycle of  IUI.. There're women out there who are suffered more than enough but strived their best to get their happiness...

If they can do it..why can't i?

I will update to you any symptom (if any) tonight ya..

xoxo!!

Hours before IUI

Darn..!

It's 5:30 am, suddenly I woke up when I realized Mr. Harvey was about to sleep??? *He promised NOT to sleep one whole night...tidakkk!!!!

So I asked him using my high pitch voice "Sayang!! Don't sleep yet la..you promised me not to sleepppp...I really hate when you doing this..."

*I started to be emotional..I have right to be emotional!

"I'm sleepy la..movie kita beli semua boring..."

I was really MAD and  suddenly I cried ...

"You are not like any other man!!..Nanti kalau I kejutkan you nak amik sperm...sure you'll get mad and start acting like tutttt"
*Yes , I cursed..I'm not perfect..he's not either okay..and he was even laughing when he saw me cried..so cruel!


Still..he went to sleep..    *He IS one of a kind..urghhh


So, I woke up, pi kemas rumah, jemur kain..gosok baju... I need to do all heavy chores so that I could relax for couple of days after IUI...

At 7.15am..I embraced myself and try to be brave enough to wake him up..*Fyi, I never wake him up before..cause he hates when people doing that except his phone alarm (meaning that he's only responded to work related calls and thus his phone/work alarm )..That's it...

Even his parents failed to wake him up since forever.. *power tak husnband I!! geramnyaa


After 1 hour...

I laid down beside him ...and tapped his shoulder slowly with my sweet face .. *Dalam hati tensen sbenarnya..hipokrit kan

"Wake up wake uppppp sayangg....its time..I need to collect your seed.." *So funnyyyy!!!!

He woke up instantly with his red eyes and fierce face ..." right now ke? Ok jap."

Pheww!!...Thank God..He was able not to be grumpy-selfish-creature..*hehehe

So I gave him  his laptop for him to watch whatever that could stimulate his mood..

I also gave him Conceive Plus to help him lubricate the area..*This is my theory..other lubs will harm the sperms but I hope Conceive Plus able to help Mr. Harvey to smoothly 'doing' his thing without harming his sperm..

I just waited for him at our living room ..watching my Diva Universal Channel..


After 40 minutes ..lama betul


Mr Harvey called me and gave me his specimen..

"Eh sikitnyaa..cukup ke ni...are you nervous? " * I started being pushy and annoying ...typical me..haha..seriously sikit gila...like 2ml?? cenonet okay!

He tried to answer without getting mad...

"Its not about the portion..its about the quality inside this portion" *Wah...macamla dia tau sangat..study pasal ni pun tak pernah...konfiden nyerrr kann...!

So, I just mumbling to myself..and immediately took the specimen and put in between my boobs.. *yes..we need to put the specimen near to the body temperature. Our boobs is the best place to ensure the sperm is comfortable and warm inside container.


In a flash I drove to the hospital and leave Mr. Harvey alone..I needed to go to the lab quickly and get the sperm washed done.


While droving to the Tawakal Hospital, I was quite worried about the specimen portion.."biar betul ni...dalam ni ada berapa je ni...ntah ntah x sampai 1 million..after wash..berapa sangat yang tinggal" *teruk betul I ni..I know, but I couldn't help myself..

 I reached to the lab, and handed over to the laboratorist..

Macam biasa...I managed to get some answers from her...in conclusion we can't judge based on portion ..we will never know until the sperm got washed and analyzed  .. *we'll see how..

After that, I went to Dr. Jaafar assistant and she asked me to come back at 10am

I went back home..having my breakfast..Mr. Harvey.??.He didn't sleep...He watched Youtube while waiting for me.. He's not being romantic..Never...He just couldn't sleep since our 'beloved neighbor' doing their house renovation and drilling their wall like nobody business.... *Bravo Jiran..!!.Award for The Best Neighbor of the Year goes to you! Ceh..


10:17 am...

Hospital called..the result and doctor are ready for my IUI.. *yeay!!

"Vrooooommmm.... Lets goooo !!!"

Ps: Curios to know Mr Harvey's count...hope for the best!!

Tick Tock for my 1st IUI

Dear Ms. B,

I'm very nervous..fatigue (due to HCG trigger) .. I can feel my left ovary and right kinda twinges..is that ovulation...? are they already out and ready to be fertilized? I'm not sure..but I'm counting the hours now...


It's been exactly 24 hours since my Pubergen Shot. Another 12 hours to go...Please dear egg...hold on..do not release yourself just yet..you will wasting your 12 hours before able to meet the right sperm to come near you...don't waste you time...seat tight and bertahannnnn!!! You can do this..


Another 9 hours before Mr. Harvey deposit his seed. Thank god, he's purposely take his annual leave tomorrow and vow that he won't sleep until all his mighty soldiers safely landed inside the sterile container....

*He doesn't want to sleep one whole night...Dia la manusia paling susah bangun tidur pagi and doesn't even bother about anything once asleep..so better for him not to sleep at all..He can have his sleep after that..I don't mind he's no accompanying me... just like his mom said to me...I AM ONE TOUGH WOMAN...!! peace y'all!

Sperm Fight!!!

May the force be with you!!

Quite interesting post title..SPERM Fight...

Have you ever wondered what's going on between sperms before  the ONE and ONLY from hundreds of million of them fight for their right? 

This is war!!!

Hehe..funny ilustration..:P

From the research:

It goes along the lines that the male produces three types of sperm. The first we all know about and that is the type the fertilizes the egg, the second is what is called blocker sperm. Their job is simply to essentially block the way of sperm that might come from another male. (Ini kalau isteri yang curang la..not for us..) And then the third is known as killer sperm. They apparently swim around looking for and attacking any foreign sperm. 

DID YOU KNOW??

There is even research that men can control the amount of "killer sperm" they produce depending on what partner they are with.

*Don't know how true is the research..But when I've found it..I was quite amused and disbelief..if this is true..MasyaAllah..god is great..!

Anyway I've found this one joke about sperm..laughter is the greatest medicine..kan?

---------------------------------xoxoxoxoxox--------------------------------------------

Once I was out on what might be one of the most interesting double blind dates ever. The other male brought up an interesting fact that males produce two types of sperm during sex. One type is the normal sperm whose soul mission is to find and plant the flag on the egg, the other type are considered “fighter sperm” whose only mission in their short life is to find and attack any other sperm occupying the area that does not  belong to the original male. So if a man thinks his wife or girlfriend has been cheating on him, he’ll subconsciously send a message to his coin purse to produce way more of the fighter sperm to send them out on a search and destroy mission. Interesting.

I thought to myself, “sweet, sperm war!” I wondered how my boys would do in that kind of scenario. I’d probably give a Patton like speech the morning before the battle to my soldiers and then send them in there.

(VK’s killer sperm)

Scene: VK stands in his bathroom looking down his boxer shorts. It’s morning, he’s giving a speech to um… himself. We watch and listen in.

VK(talking to his sperm!)): "Alright boys it’s morning, normally within the next couple of minutes you guys would be landing on Sarah’s face for her morning Dorian Gray facial but we have a situation. Last night at 22:00 hours we received a call from Sarah telling us she’d be staying at her girl Vivian’s place. At 24:00 hours Vivian called us to make sure Sarah got home ok. This brings us to conclude that the probability of our nookie hole being compromised is high."

"This wont be your typical mission aka “the search for Zion”. No boys, this is strictly a search and destroy mission. Are you eye balling me Muniz! Tighten up! Anyway I want you boys to watch your backs out there. I’ve got a feeling she spent the night with Julio, her dance teacher. He’s Mexican so you know there will be a bunch of them in that little space we call home. It may be INPY’s boys if so there’s probably twenty of them, still drunk of Bourbon and coke, trying to figure out how the hell they got there"

"Here’s the plan, I’m going to get a little tug session going on then sneak back into bed and hit her with the morning wood poke. She’ll probably say something like, “not now honey, I’m still tired” that’s when I’ll hit her with, “but baby, your so sexy right now, I was thinking I’d go down on you for once”. She’ll happily roll over and that’s when we hit her with the “sike out” trojan horse insert. Unable to resist the motion in her ocean, you boys will be deployed exactly two minutes and thirty seconds later."

"Huddle up boys,!!father sperm could you please bless us with a prayer (he does). Remember boys this is ours home, WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!" ( of course my boys wear under armor workout shirts with matching skullies…. duh)

(we found her boys, secure the area, lock it down!)

Unfortunately things did not go according to plan. As soon as he got into bed Sarah counter strike with, “I’ve got a bad headache, and I think I’m getting my period”. The fighter sperm ended up going down the drain during a cold shower.

LOL... :P

Can we ovulate twice within one cycle..?

The answer is:

That is why fraternal twin /triplet is existed. (Kembar tak seiras) This is due to the mother able to ovulate twice or even trice ...with obviously 2 or 3 different eggs.. some studies said that:

But...

You can't ovulate at two different times saperately in your cycle but you can definitely ovulate 2 eggs at a ONE time..but the interval time gap between 1st ovulation is within 1 hour to 24  hour.. For instance:

Egg B was released one hour after Egg A

.

Usually this ovulation only occurs when Clomid or other fertility drugs involved...Here what I've found:


1. If you're using fertility drugs + induce ovulation by shot = Yes, you may release more than 1 egg.

2. If you're using fertility drug but without induce ovulation by shot  = You, may end up release only ONE dominant egg (the biggest one).

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

So in general, most medical references will say that you ovulate 'once' during a cycle. This means that you can release one or more eggs during 'one' twenty-four hour period, which is, of course, known as ovulation.

Let me in !!!!!

*Remember, too, that a woman could release two eggs but both are not necessarily fertilized.