35 weeks: 2.5 kg and not growing?

Hola soulsista..

Yesterday I was like berangan my dear daughter will get bigger.. guess what!

She's NOT!

LMP:  34 weeks 5 days

Ultrasound: 35 weeks-ish

Not much different...but what I'm worried now is.. last 2 week her weight was estimated 2.5 kg..and yesterday, she was weighing the same.. 2.5 kg...

WHY SHE'S NOT GROWING!?? 

Dr. Jaafar said nothing to worry about.. as long as she's active and not showing passive movements.. but still...

Knowing me...hermm I just couldn't stay still... My mind was like wandering round and round..

I got some infos / reasoning behind  this:

1. The baby is just petite 

2. Placenta has degraded its functionality  *Meaning the baby is not having full nutritious from it.. 

So I was a bit worried and suddenly last night Neyra was not really active.. I was freaking out and not able to sleep...

So to ease my own burden and curiosity, I went to Dr Jaafar again today..just to get reassurance from him..

He did:

1. CTG on me

2. Check the blood flow provided by placenta to my baby

3. Rhythm of my baby's heartbeat

..and ... she is just fine.. active and the heartbeat is normal..

Phew!!

P/s: Maybe coz I somehow..not really taking my multivitamins and anmum..that must be it! *Terus geledah vitamins and I promised not to miss it until I safely delivering her!! huhuhuh..

See ya Brenda!!

xoxo

To induce or wait? Part 1

Hola Soulsista,


I lost count how many weeks I am now...according to LMP..its 34 weeks..

but...

during last scan (LMP32weeks), according to her bone's measurement..she was 35 weeks..!

So, meaning that:

If LMP : 34 weeks , possibilities she's 37 weeks according to her bones measurement..



Seems like forever..My uterus seems like stretching so bad..it hurts..I feel like my Ms. V got punched 24/7... uwaaa

Nak dijadikan cerita...


My mom arrived and she told me about her experience in her labor:

1st Child (Me of course) : Normal labor.... and it takes 2 days for her to went through the contractions before having me...*No wonder aku ni rebellious and stubborn!

2nd Child : Induced!!! Only 4 hours in pain

3rd Child: Induced!! 4 hours in pain

4th Child: Induced!! 3 hours in pain!

5th Child: Induced!! Only 1.5 hours in pain!

She told me to just go with the induce since it could expedite the process and the pain won't drag too long..


I thought " Naaaahh... I think I can handle all the pain in the world..since I'm strong enough to go through all by myself..Hell  I am all alone without any help all this while.."  Right!?

But last night...it was different....I cried, and cried and cried!! I was like so sakit hati due to the heaviness of my belly , the cramp, and the muscle stretching..I really wanna sleep but I couldn't sleep at all..!!!Last last position ini yang aku dapat tido... :(

Credit: Google

Today, it makes me wonder..Should I jus get induced.?.

Some might say:

"Hun..U shud just wait ...and feel the beauty of the pain.." Whutta? beauty of the pain? there's no term or wise proverb for that! Yang aku pernah dengar proverb... " Beauty knows no pain" adalah! pfft~

 or

"Hun, the baby is not ready ...u shudnt force her "


Yadaa yadaa...!!

Off to bed y'all

Hola sista!

I think my skin is more radiant after using the machine...n I think it looks slimmer ..no? *prasan boley?

With make up...

Without make up..off to bed!! I just trimmed my eye brow..hehehe

See ya Brenda!

xoxo

Chit chat with big shot VP...

Hola soul sista,


Just got back home...I hate to work in this condition...

ITS SO HOT, SO SWEATY, I'M WORN OUT! grrrrr...

Hmmmm...yet the best part..tomorrow will be my very BIG day as I will be interviewed personally one to one with one of the PETRONAS VP..






DANG!! I'M SO NERVOUS!






I know this is my opportunity to SHINE LIKE A DIAMOND...*Singing rihanna's songs..Manala tau dapat masuk VP Office..Kellas iols!


I'm not preparing that much as he said its only laid back chitchat..but I did some studies here and there..his background, his expertise , the CORPORATE agenda (of course!) and my own job description *fingertips! 

It's kinda funny cause I'm PREGNANT...and I will be wearing not so formal attire during the chitchat..Yea I don't have formal maternity leave..just some dress and I don't have energy to go shopping to buy  maternity blazer..*duhhh


So to be in comfort zone, not so shady and chippo...I will just wear my black maternity dress wrapping it up with my black cardigan and fancy scarf ..thats it..


Oh yea..heavy yet looking fresh make up is a MUST!
 

T_T .......   session is at 8.30 am....Confirm pukul 7am dah tercacak kat level 80..!


Wish me luck!!!


xoxo!

Admission Ward Form: Anytime nowwww

Hola soul sista..!


Just finished my check up with Dr Jaafar...

According to LMP: I'm 32 weeks 4 days

According to baby bones and head: 34 weeks- 35 weeks

GULP! NERVOUS DEK NON!!

Doc gave me an admission form just in case I encountered below symptoms before my next check up...


1. Contraction 
Dr Jaafar describes as if you have gas and u wanna poop..and your abdomen feels so hard with gap consistency.. consistent interval contraction * main taram je letak term! lol!


2.  Amniotic fluid leaking (air ketuban pecah)
Sudden gush of water coming out from you cervix..or Ms V.. But you just don't feel a thing, it just came out, out of nowhere...*tengok2 katil or kain basah...


3. Bloody plug like slimy blood came out from your Ms. V
Well bloody plug...I don't think I should describe in details...TMI!

My admission Form

*SHOOT!!!! I need to renew my GL..calling AIA now..


See ya Brenda


xoxo

Brenda..

Hi Brenda...


Is he okay out there..

Is there any glimpse of hope for both of us...I pray hard for it..

after 3 weeks...sudden rush in my heart..screaming how I really miss him..

I'm taking a deep breath now...smile..even its a fake..just smile..I'm calming myself...

Think about little baby...Neyra..


xoxo...

Eleken Eternal Beauty... Part 1 : Finally she's arrived!

Hola soulsista!!!

FINALLYYYYYY!!!

HAIL TO THE QUEEN!!!

My ultimate deary that I've been waiting for..

 Elken Eternal Beauty..yippiee!! 

Cost me RM1,990.. Investing for myself is totally worth it!

Now I'm not sure whether I should use it during my confinement day or just gamble and using it now..

Maybe I should just wait...Beauty has no shortcut..right..?

Another one month-ish for me to experience the result.. :D :D :D

p/s: Will update the 'before' and 'after' photo in this mid December.. heheh :P

See ya Brenda!

xoxo

Shopping gives me tranquility moment

Hola Soulsista,


I just bought one whole set MAC cosmetics.. *O.o Bila dah start lalok..duit la mencurah curah!

Frankly speaking, I'm not a big shopper..seriously...my last window shopping at Pavvy or KLCC ...?
Hmmm...more than 2 years ago? I'm not sure why I just don't have the appetite to shop..maybe I was toooo focusing spending my money for fertility treatment...


Having said that...shopping actually gives me some sort of tranquility especially when you have lots of cash in your hand..*Yep, I don't have credit card, I'm still siwping my card..we called it debit...:)


Since debit card was introduced, I was so clinging to it! ... I hate bringing thousand of cash in my wallet..hence the debit card is my savior to swipe and knowing that I'm using cash instead of credit money..

Receipt...beli apa yang mampu..

Make up from a-z

Make up using MAC..biasa2 je..muka ghemok!..*Opps I'm not wearing scarf, I believe all the viewers are from our kaum.. :) 

Big fat lady..Gain 27 kgs..8 months pregnant. lives alone and surviving it..!!

*pat to myself...work it baby..it is not the end of the world....The world will keep on moving regardless of whatever condition you are going through.. 


Next hunting...Elken Eternal Beauty...


Mission Impossiblepossible: I wanna beat Rozita Che Wan after finished my confinement day...*Boley tak.?? 

That was me (center) 4 years ago..I'm gonna be much better than this pic ..Minus the sari, minus the visible naked skin and add on my scarf ... :*)

See ya Brenda..xoxo

Painting my home...I'm getting better.. :)

Hi Brenda,

I just repainting my house... :D yeay!

The things is.. I have mistaken choose wrong color for my living room...I think I just burnt my eyes..hehhe..with the help of tukang painter..We managed to blend the bright yellow color and turned it to bananaish- color..

What have I done..! Argh my eyess!! burning!!

Err...Welcome to kindergarten?

Repainting process...Sorry Lan, I know you must be annoyed at me.. :P

Okay better...I think..?

Night time....Love the Tiffany Blue tho.

Jeng jeng jeng....my master bedroom...

From this....

To this..!! Yet to decorate.. :P

Now...just painting my room and turning it to Princess-Pink-Castle mood....Girlie time..! *Yea, bit messy..but I'm gonna put some accesories to this lovely room..maybe my own self-potrait drawing with my lil angel..hehehe..

Thats all for now Brenda..


Goodnite...

xoxo :)

3 weeks... and my very 1st step..

Brenda,

It has been three weeks, surviving this tragedy..

I need to move on.. Have to move on...

My mind was strayed this few weeks... and I have forgotten about my baby girl....

Ya Allah, permudahkan lah perjalanan hidup ku...permudahkan lah kelahiran anakku...

Moving on is hard...but staying in the misery is harder...coz it won't lead to anywhere...the pain won't go away until I'm ready to let it go...

I need to take my 1st step...for the sake of my baby and myself..

Life is hard now...Its time for me to search my own happiness instead of mourning and hoping miracle and happiness knocking on my door...they won't... I need to work it to get all the happiness in this world...

1st step : It needs to start at the place that represent both me and the past... Our home...

It's not going to be 'our' home anymore...eventho I prayed hard for it...Its all in God's hand..

I'm going to change it to 'my' home....

Be strong Izzy....be strong for the baby... She deserves to have all the happiness in this world..



xoxo...

Devastated..!!!!

Brenda!!!


I feel like dying..I'm all alone...heavily pregnant...separated with Mr. Harvey...I don't know if I cud survive all by myself..

I don't think I could save my marriage, I gave up...He gave up...How could he...!!! I'm almost 8 months pregnant!!!!

Its been more than 2 weeks we've been separated!!!.

He's out from our house..my family is now taking in charge of my life, and I just can't abandon them since I need them during this fragile moment.... Mr Harvey asked me to choose between him or my family..How could he gave me that option! I can't just simply choose like that!


There's no tears left...No matter how much I cried, destruction is so severe, I'm afraid to ever think about it..

All I could think of is my unborn daughter..How is she going to face this chaos. forget about me..all I'm thinking now is my daughter!! Born without her father by her side... I couldn't believe I'm going through this....Ya Allah....


If is not because of her, I think I've given up my life..I'm not strong Brenda...I just lost the love of my life who doesn't care about this problem..He just left me and never turn his back on  me....

AM I GOING TO SURVIVE THIS TRAGEDY..??? 

WILL I GET BACK MY HAPPINESS AND COURAGE TO MOVE ON??

AM I ABLE TO GIVE ALL THE HAPPINESS TO MY DAUGHTER..

O Allah....please be with me....your the ONLY ONE that I could pour my heart out...